The memoir I recount thus is an attempt to purge the demons of my mind from dragging me hither unto the shadowy depths of madness. The terrors conjured up by the knowledge of this tale should bring any sane man to the brink or beyond. It is for this reason that I implore this transcript… Continue reading Scorpions of the Undead
Category: Weird
Tastey Nuts
I’m a fan of the seed and nut family, as many can attest. I maintain a supply of them at my desk at work for the occasion of snacking, which comes regularly. There are also infinite jokes to be told that never get old: Hello everybody. I have brought my nuts for everybody to enjoy.… Continue reading Tastey Nuts
The Year is 2035…
Perhaps some of you are aware of Charles Lindbergh’s other work. Lindbergh crossed the Atlantic Ocean in 1927, but a few years later he was able to get some time with the surgeon, Dr. Alexis Carrel to discuss some common interests. It turns out that Lindbergh believed it to be possible to build a heart… Continue reading The Year is 2035…
Gävlebocken (The Gävle Goat)
In a small city north of Stockholm, 5,000 onlookers welcome a giant Goat as it is unveiled each year around Yule. For several decades now, the Gävle Goat has made a historical mark in Gävle history as it is either sacrificed or spared during the Winter. In 1969 the goat was burned on New Year’s… Continue reading Gävlebocken (The Gävle Goat)
*@%! Road Trash
I’m driving to work this morning, minding my own business, when I notice a monstrous bag skulking across the road. It’s one of those clear cellophane bags; the kind you get at the grocery store to hold your vegetables, only this one can probably hold the whole “Fresh Foods” section. Likely a furniture bag, and… Continue reading *@%! Road Trash
“…and he looked, and, behold, the bush burned with fire, and the bush was not consumed.”
In Gainesville recently, I witnessed the burning bush. And behold, the bush burned with fire, and the bush was consumed, and the fire department put it out. I don’t even think they waited for the words of the prophecy.
A Surreal Morning
Monday morning I began my day like many others. It was the first day of school for many, and it was the beginning of the work week for me. I also managed to get out the door in record time (related) that morning; the sun was just creeping up above the horizon as I set… Continue reading A Surreal Morning
Balthazar Comments on Commodity Foods
I was just pulling out of driveway (a severe angle up to the road), and I burned the clutch a bit to keep from stalling out in reverse. Balthazar says, “Daddy, I smell chicken nuggets.” So a burning clutch smells like a chicken nugget, or perhaps it’s more apt to say that chicken nuggets smell… Continue reading Balthazar Comments on Commodity Foods
Polar Cities
I must prefix this post with a bit of back story… A reader in Taiwan, Danny Bee, left a comment on an article I wrote (“Emily Yoffe Learns The Secret“). I had first assumed that the comment was spam, though the suspect spam did not follow my preconceived notions of spam. It had no sales… Continue reading Polar Cities
57% Chance of Surviving a Zombie Attack
57% It’s not particularly good, though not all together bad either. I think the quiz is rigged. It never asked me how good I was with knives. Thanks for the meme, Spazz.