On Halloween night I won a costume contest when I made an appearance at the local “Coffee Shop of Horrors.” I was dressed as Chewbacca, and as faithful readers know, pretty darn realistic. Balthazar took place with his costume of a macaw, which Amy did a very good job in making. As a prize for me, I received “The Master,” a 12-inch figur(ine) of Mark Metcalf from the Buffy the Vampire television series. At work this morning, I dawned the toy to display among my peers. One of them noted that the box suggested heavily of a monster dildo package. You can probably fill in the rest pretty well with your imagination. On either side, Metcalf is holding a large candlestick in the erect position as if a threat. There is a small warning on the front about a choking hazard – probably goes without saying.