On Halloween night I won a costume contest when I made an appearance at the local “Coffee Shop of Horrors.” I was dressed as Chewbacca, and as faithful readers know, pretty darn realistic. Balthazar took place with his costume of a macaw, which Amy did a very good job in making. As a prize for me, I received “The Master,” a 12-inch figur(ine) of Mark Metcalf from the Buffy the Vampire television series. At work this morning, I dawned the toy to display among my peers. One of them noted that the box suggested heavily of a monster dildo package. You can probably fill in the rest pretty well with your imagination. On either side, Metcalf is holding a large candlestick in the erect position as if a threat. There is a small warning on the front about a choking hazard – probably goes without saying.
Congrats on winning the contest! Small child and I saw you on Halloween but small child was afraid of your pal Willie Wonka and requested that we stay away from him. She asked me if he was thr “real” Willie Wonka later. I told her no but to be on the lookout for renegade oompa-loompas just to be safe.