Scientist Poop and the Epic Fail

Our son recently contracted Streptococcus within his person. We’re all familiar with such things, but the signs of this particular infection alluded us. We knew he had a stomach ache, but little else. The stomach ache became chronic and Balthazar the harbinger used is poo oracle to let us know something was truly wrong. We found out later in the week that Balthazar had experienced several “Scientist Poops,” which turns out to be what the slow-minded adults refer to as “diarrhea.” I asked Balthazar why he called it this, and he simply said it was because it “looked like Scientist.” I still don’t really know what this means, though I imagine any hopes that he may one day become a brilliant scientist are now futile.

In a completely unrelated story…

Humans give off subtle signs of emotional and physical wellness through involuntary interactions of the psyche. Some of these things manifest themselves as physical aberrations, though primarily they go unnoticed by all but the most well-attuned.

My lovely wife, mother of our two children, gave me these subtle signs recently in a way that could not go unnoticed. At some ungodly hour of the wee, my wife woke me with slurring speech to notify me of my duty for the baby girl in the house. She had been working late that night, and had probably only just gotten to sleep an hour earlier when Sorscha woke her. I took on the charge with no questions. When I reached for Sorscha, I found that she was rather soaked, as well as the pad she lay upon. During these cold nights, her pajamas take the form of what’s known as a Sleep Sack. It’s a wonderful invention in which you simply bag your child in a zipped enclosure and allow them to steam gently in their own moisture. Some (ours) include the ever-helpful swaddling wrap that Velcros tightly around the child so as to prevent escape and recognition as anything but a human-faced grub. When I opened her sack, I found that she was completely naked and a loose diaper was balled-up in the corner of her little sauna. It was as if the changing included such activities as:

  1. Open zipped-enclosure
  2. Toss in diaper and seal tightly
  3. Gently shake to activate absorption.

Needless to say, I performed the cleanup, fed her, and reintroduced her to a drier version of her bed.

And the message was well-received that my wife was rather beyond simply being “tired.” Sleep deprivation can do some interesting things to a person, but thankfully humans have an innate method by which these things can be communicated.


  1. How well I remember those nights. I remember an incident when Henning was about 6 or 8 months old. I was asleep with an extremely hot pillow next to me. I pushed it away and it rolled onto the floor with a clunk. Yep. It was the baby. Last I remembered, he was in his crib and I was in my bed. I think babies can teleport.
    Only a little negligent

  2. You are a good father Olaf – my wife take care of all the night time activities with our little one. The sleep sack is a great invention, at times, and we also prefer the velcro wrap, even though it makes our little one look like she’s in a straight jacket. May you and your wife find some sleep in the next couple of nights, it’s precious with a newborn!

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