Prison Love

My good friend, A. (for Anonymous), was recently the target of a very strange package indeed. Being a female and having some public recognition, she is apparently an ideal target for some pen-pal romance from beyond the gates of prison. The package came to her work place, where the perp. knew he could reach her. Being addressed from a not-too-distant prison in Hardwick, her co-workers were obviously quite interested in the contents. When opened, they discovered a pillow case covered entirely with her likeness in colored pencils and a narrow row of roses entwined at the bottom. Ready for hanging on any wall of your house. There’s also a letter from the inmate, Sammy, stating his love for the arts – which A. has been known to dabble in. He had read an article of hers in a newspaper where she discussed some cultural ongoings in the art community. His record, while not exactly clean (read: burglary 9x, possession of cocaine 2x, etc.), is at least void of highly upsetting crimes like rape, assault, or Internet spam fraud. Sammy will be spending at least the next 4 years in prison, and by the looks of his previous record I’m betting they keep his cell open.

Now while this is all highly humorous to me, I understand it to be quite different being the recipient of such an interlocution. I can obviously catch the eerie element to this, but I had hoped that the world was kind afterall and fear had no place where butterflies lived. However, A. has been upset by the event and went as far as an attempted police filing. This got her nowhere – possibly further from nowhere because her faith in the civil service is shaken. I’m not exactly sure what the police could do with such a filing at this point, but it seems they would at least do their part in easing fears by filing the damn report. It’s not a question of the officer’s faith in her truth either. He was present to see the evidence and surmised that a report could not be taken because there was no real threat in the letter. The guardians of justice continue to serve and protect, but matters of humanity escape them. I know their story is quite jaded, so I’ll just leave it at that.

Fear not A., there’s an entire league of superheroes watching over you to rescue you from threatened peril. The Magic Man can pull things out of hats, and Superman can freakin’ turn back time by flying around the world really fast.


  1. Hardwick!!! Ah yes that name brings back memories. All of them bad. I used to have to send revoked female parolees there around fifteen years ago when it was a womens prison. The name “hardwick” was the punch line of several jokes back then.

    Inmates used to be prevented from sending mail to individuals who filed the proper request with the department of corrections. I would suggest that she contact Georgia DOC about how to file such a request.

  2. I can supply A. with a perfect security system. I’ll be happy to lend her Rafe who has no problem with the “TAKE HOLD!” game. Remember that he grabs at approximately shoulder-throat level on sheep, approximately crotch level on an average adult male. Also, he does NOT LIKE strangers in general-men in particular. (Now, doesn’t that sound like fun?) In lieu of Rafe, she can have Yang who at least barks big and will snarl and snap if she’s got trash to defend. Or she may borrow Fudge who will scare the bejeesus out of anyone with her alien mein, or fear of contagion.

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