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Either way, the FDA blocked approval of the “Alli,” the new OTC version of Xenical because the effects aren’t permanent. (The drug works by blocking absorption of about one-third of fat consumed.) Users only lost about 15 pounds in a year amidst a slew of side effects such as abdominal cramping, oily stools, and rampant bouts of wet, uncontrollable, “chainsaw-like” flatulence ripping through the seat of their elastic-waisted pants like the tusks of a wild boar tearing through rotted cheesecloth.

Thanks Marc!


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