Corporate cultures everywhere have mandated an unspoken need to reduce english terms and phrases to mere grunts and phonic alliterations that hint at their original use. It’s a little like what others experience when faced with the Southern tongue. You know, the words like “aaah-ayt” to represent “alright.” “Dj’eet yet” instead of “did you eat yet.” Corporations mask this with a sophisticated gloss to hide the fact that they’re using hillbillies and thugs to build their rich and compelling company-speak vocabulary. I hear “PWB” for “plain white box,” “mobo” for “motherboard,” and “spec” (and I really think everyone has forgotten this one) “specification.” This latest of tonal abbreviations is “preso” pronounced “pree zoe.” It’s short for “presentation,” which you may already know. I hear it from the executive level down to the dungeons, where I live. When I try to mix it up a little and utilize the popular -izzo suffix, the -izzle, or the -izzi- vowel replacement technique, I’m only met with giggles and and condescending looks. I guess you have to be higher up in the food chain to make your own vocabulary. When I’m the CEO, I’ll make my own language. An entire language filled with nouns as verbs and excessive adjectives (or adverbs now).
Oh my gosh! There is actually two people right behind me that are complaining about their kids’ lazy grammar. Oh the IRONY!!!
My favorite, is when we use these shortened names to double up on the naming of things.
For example, using specification twice. As in MS spec, where MS = “My Specification” spec.
This great use of acronyms can be usually be found by sales types and project managers who have not fully read up on what it is they’re executing upon.
My current favorite buzzwords are “net net”, or “net new”. Both of which make absolutely no sense.
Thank goodness you’ll never be CEO, so we wont have to worry about the nouns and verbs. Dont you now CEO’s cant have blue nails? 🙂