It's like family, only weirder…

99x Sinner’s Ball 2006 at The Compound

Atlanta’s biggest (and only?) Mardi Gras celebration is hosted by 99x at The Compound. I was hired to stilt-walk at the engagement and lived to tell the story. To appreciate my situation better, you have to know that the club scene isn’t exactly my cup of tea. In fact, I have no real experience with that lifestyle whatsover. That said, I did enjoy myself – it was an exciting place and I got lots of attention throughout the three hours of my attendance.

When I arrived, I was put up in the Bamboo Room. There, I shared the room with three women getting full-body spray painted. Of the three, it turns out I knew one from high school. There’s nothing stranger than meeting an old associate in the buff. Nicole was dressed, but she would be getting naked soon. I had to get into my stilts and walk quickly from the room. Before I did, I was engaged in simple conversation with one of the girls having just been painted. She was a professional, like me, but naked, unlike me. So that’s weird. Before you ask, I am a gentleman and found no trouble in keeping my composure. It was less of a sexy thing and more of just a thing. Incidentally, there was no place for me to adequately strap into my stilts there. I chose an experimental method of leaping up onto the stilts and strapping in while balanced. It’s tricky and requires a great deal of concentration and patience.

Once through this part, I was free to get out onto the floor and start trying out the terrain. It was some of the more difficult terrain to manage. The ground was varied and wet in many places. I only slipped once towards the end of the night. It was at this rather crucial moment in the night when a woman decided to take advantage of my stunned and stuped state. Two handfulls of buttocks were hers. She even gave me a shockingly painful *smack*. I considered at first that it was Jeff messing with me, but the two hands seemed a bit too friendly for Jeff. After shaking her from my prosthetic leg, I went into the dance floor and peeked around. The night just kind of continued that way. There were drunks-o-plenty and all variety of women willing to do unmentionable things to get some beads I was wearing. Despite this, I left the evening with the beads I arrived with. They’re not mine to barter, and I’m not keen on taking advantage of exhibitionists. Besides, I don’t assume my wife would appreciate the activities and I can certainly respect her wishes.

Being at the ball was a bit like being in a different country or something. The culture was completely foreign to me – I was just a tourist – in this case entertaining the locals. They seemed to enjoy our work (Jeff did walking magic and fire) and said they’d invite us back next year. If you are the clubbing type, The Compound in Atlanta seems like a pretty cool place. It’s expansive and well equipped for dancing, mingling, and drinking. If you’re into burlesque entertainment and the club scene, you’d probably do well to attend 99x’s Sinner’s Ball next year. If you’re the devout religious type with sentiment for mankind’s saving graces, you’ll want to avoid this whole damned scene.

*UPDATE 02/28/2006*
It turns out I missed the real action. Following Mix Master Mike’s excellent DJ performance, Kid Rock shows up and takes over the VIP lounge. The event coordinators couldn’t even get in because of the heightened security around him. I’m not a Kid Rock fan particularly – in fact, I might not have recognized him had he passed in front of me. However, it’s always cool to say you saw someone of this caliber in the common place…or in this case *almost* saw.


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