It's like family, only weirder…

Military-Strength Exfoliator

The ray gun is under development by our military research experts in the Pentagon. The device uses a microwave technology to penetrate just beneath the skin and boil it. Probably a bit like a jellyfish or tattoo experience. I could see that as being an effective deterrence, though a Tesla-like charge of taser energy would probably be even better – if not perhaps more effective. I guess electricity like that isn’t cheap, nor particularly accurate. At any rate, a sub-dermal skin boiler sounds pretty good and shouldn’t cause bruising. Maybe that means that minor exposure leaves no residual effects, unlike rubber bullets.

“A few rounds of tear gas into a crowd does a great job of changing the crowd’s priorities. Safe, cheap, and effective.”

I guess they’re right about that, but that’s so 20th century. We’re spending $44 million on nonlethal weaponry research – I’m sure it’s not just to see if tear gas is the best. Besides, we’ll reduce costs by losing those pesky gas masks. One question remains of this new death ray technology; anybody ever see what the microwave does to metal and CD’s? That must look spectacular as blue bolts of lightening glance off keychains, knives, and sun glasses.

The Link: Defense Tech


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