It's like family, only weirder…

Innovating the Search Engine

Listen up, Google! I have had a vision and I know what the next step in search engine technology is. It came to me as a spark of sudden hope during a frustrating journey down search engine back roads. You see, the folks at Read/Write Web are right. The Search…Continue Reading

Quandries of the American English Dialect

ar·chi·tect (är’kĭ-tĕkt’) n. One who designs and supervises the construction of buildings or other large structures. One that plans or devises: a country considered to be the chief architect of war in the Middle East. [Latin architectus, from Greek arkhitektōn : arkhi-, archi- + tektōn, builder.] At some point (I…Continue Reading

LOL Code

Script Kiddies beware. Adam Lindsay has begun an effort to replace your l33t speaking ways with a rudimentary development language (lolcode) using the same coded phrases you disrespect your mothers with (you text your mom with that hand?). As a demonstration of his awesomeness, Lindsay offers this example of a…Continue Reading

Metaphysiology: My Word, not Theirs

I thought I invented the word metaphysiology just now. Meta- being the state of something being in an advanced or super state, physique/physical representing the anatomy, and finally -ology being the study of. Together that gives you the “scientific study of superhuman qualities or powers.” Alas, the New Age folks…Continue Reading

Google Speaks H4x0r

It turns out that one of Google’s many language options is “H4x0r.” Now the l33t have somewhere to conduct there searches besides astalavista.box.sk. Among some other humorous ones were Elmer Fudd, the Swedish Chef, Klingon, and Pig Latin. From a purely geeky perspective, I dug the Latin language option too.…Continue Reading

Back to the Future: COBOL

Some psychos out there have implemented COBOL.NET, that is, COBOL for Microsoft.NET. Fujitsu is, at least in part, to blame for their Windows implementation of a compiler and interpreter. On one hand, it speaks volumes of the capabilities of the CLR, but on the other hand it just goes to…Continue Reading

‘P’ to the Rizzo

Corporate cultures everywhere have mandated an unspoken need to reduce english terms and phrases to mere grunts and phonic alliterations that hint at their original use. It’s a little like what others experience when faced with the Southern tongue. You know, the words like “aaah-ayt” to represent “alright.” “Dj’eet yet”…Continue Reading

Outpost Nine :: Editorials

Carlos sent me a link to a teacher’s comments on “English as a Second Language” in Japan. It came recommended as hilarious, and I do indeed concur. It’s a little like watching an anime cartoon that makes no sense, while a telepathic commentator gives you a play-by-play. “So, in effect,…Continue Reading

The Vagina Monologues

My wife will be hosting The Vagina Monologues soon at her studio in downtown Gainesville. If you’re unfamiliar with the title, you’re living underneath a rock somewhere in a dark cave. The monologue started in the basement of the Cornelia Street Cafe in New York. Today, it has been put…Continue Reading

Greetings from A Far Away Land

It’s sort of funny – that me and nahnu.org have sort of a meme on this. If you read the post from my birthday, you’ll know I randomly wished people “Happy Birthday” in the blogosphere on my birthday. It turns out that it was very rewarding, socially speaking. I made…Continue Reading