It's like family, only weirder…

Something Wickèd this Way Comes…

In a particularly sinister plan led by one North American Hornet Saturday, my assassination was attempted in vain. I was minding my own business and mowing the lawn when a humming bird-sized hornet leapt from hiding and sniped me. Fortunately, my ninja reflexes allowed my life to be spared and I received the wound on my left calf. The hornet is dead now; mulched to smithereens using my 6.25 horsepower push mower. It’s been two days now and my leg keeps looking worse. Now it’s angry red and probably going to fall off from jungle rot soon. The pain only lasted one day, but ever since then it’s been a swollen bruise that itches a great deal. Incidentally, I found a picture of a total buffoon in doing a little research on the fatality rates from hornet stings. It turns out I am probably going to live after all.


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